Dear Internet,
So I got into
American University's Washington College of Law (WCL) today.
There's not an exclamation point at the end of that sentence because it introduces a lot of tough decisions for me. It's kind of freaking me out actually. When I found out last month that I didn't get into Berkeley (oh... did I not tell you that?), things were a lot easier.
The international humanitarian/human rights law and public service programs at WCL are really, really awesome. That's what made me apply - certainly not any desire to live in DC again. They even have this really cool, really innovative
program in which they use international human rights standards and treaties to argue domestic public interest cases. So, for example, instead of just using US or state law in a domestic violence case, they'd use international standards calling personal safety a fundamental human right under UN guidelines. They're also just a go-to authority on international humanitarian, human rights, and public interest law.
There are a lot of considerations, though. They're hard to put into words, but I'll do my best.
1. I don't want to live in DC. I said that already, but whatever. I'd like to stay in the West. The thing is, if I go to say, the University of Montana, I'm kind of pigeonholed for practicing in Montana. That's what I liked about Berkeley - you can go anywhere with a degree from Berkeley. I do like living here in Helena, but I like having options too. And there are a lot of good schools out here, but none with the kind of reputations and name recognition you find in the East. It's just hard. I'm running out of words...
2. There's this
scholarship. It's a Public Interest and Public Service full ride scholarship to WCL. When I first saw it, I was all like, "it's perfect! I'm a great candidate for this!" Then I looked at the
biographies of current recipients... and wasn't so sure. These people are
awesome. A WCL grad who works at Montana Legal Services with me said that it's basically people who would otherwise go to Ivy League schools. Am I at that level? Doubtful.
I missed the deadline by about two weeks and I'm not sure if I should defer acceptance for a year (if the school will let me) so I can apply next year, or if I should just accept that there's a good chance I won't get the scholarship and attend this year.
If I go for the scholarship, there's this whole pressure to be constantly awesome. I feel like I need to build my resume for the next year, which I hate - that's why I took time off after college. I'm sick of constantly resume-building and feeling like I need to be an over-achiever 24/7. I don't want to live like that. I like having free time to do random things that I like, such as joining a bowling league and hiking and reading for pleasure, and not feeling stressed out all the time.
3. I
do want to live in Montana for another year. I like it here. I'm sick of moving every single year. I'd like to be more stable. I'd actually really like to do intake for MLSA for a year - it's a tough job, with people yelling at you all day and whatnot, but you learn a
lot. That would potentially be a good resume-building
and enjoyable thing (well, "enjoyable" is not really the right word), but with this sequestration thing MLSA is getting cut $60,000. Hiring me is probably not a priority. Maybe I can intern or volunteer somehow? I don't know.
4. I haven't applied to that many schools; really, only American and Berkeley. I did this whole law school application thing kind of weirdly and sporadically, and I should look around more and apply to other schools, too... right?
5. I still don't know what exactly I want to study. I'm torn between public interest and international humanitarian law (IHL). I studied IHL in college and love it, but I think if that's my main focus and in the future, my practice area, I'm really limiting myself in terms of what kind of life I lead and where I can live. I feel limited to living in either New York or DC or abroad somewhere... which I'm not sure is what I want. So, public interest is also a great option - you can work for a legal aid anywhere in the country. But I can't quite let go of IHL, I guess.
Mostly, accepting feels like a really big step and I don't know if I can do it. It's oppressively important. I sent a few emails pleading for advice - from WCL, from my undergraduate research mentor, from Berkeley (about why they didn't let me in) - so hopefully those help me to make a decision soon.
This is harder than college. I've said it before, but the hardest part about being a grown up is deciding what you want (and how to get there). Gahh.
 |
This is definitely true for me. I'll be perversely
pleased if it's true for others, too. |
In other news, Will moved in about three weeks ago and is still job searching. A word of advice: if you have a job now, don't quit. This is not a great time to look for a new one. He's still hoping to get some kind of wildfire-related job, but it's so competitive (460 applicants for three slots in Helena... um, what?!). I'll let you know if something changes there. It is great to have him around, but some certainty job-wise would be excellent right about now.
Other than that, things are good. I'm really enjoying my job now and have been developing some in-depth how-to guides for legal aid organizations. I finished one on copyright law and am now working on one about advocacy and creating a bigger impact than just one client at a time. It's really interesting and I've enjoyed it a lot. I'm also hosting a discussion on disaster planning for legal aid in a few weeks, which is great since that's a subject so close to my heart ever since ERT. Oh, and they named me
VISTA of the quarter. So that's pretty neat ;)
It's finally warming up here too! Come on, spring!
xoxo Liz
